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According to experts, an interesting side effect of the current public health crisis, is the increasing number of people who report that they are experiencing exceptionally vivid dreams. Apparently, all the extra decisions we are making each and every day, should we do this, or that how can we do this or that, do we really need to do this or that, what shall we do instead of this or that; well these extra decisions pile up and our brains are maxing out. Dreaming is our brain’s way of coping or sorting through the events of our days. Now I’m not exactly sure, how taxed my brain is. If I’m honest my brain feels a bit numb these days. So, it could just be that reading the article about vivid dreams caused me to have a particularly vivid dream, the other night. Not surprisingly, I was dreaming about returning to the way things used to be. You know way back when. It’s hard to believe it was just about three months ago when we were all busy making all those plans, which we are so very fond of making. Back then, I had most of my year all planned out; church priorities, speaking engagements, vacation plans, things I wanted to do, people and places I wanted to see. And then one day, I was in my house, cancelling all my plans, wondering when I could get back to making plans again.
Well in this vivid dream of mine, I was sitting in front of a giant calendar, days, weeks, and months, all blacked out and I was weeping. It was all so black. I picked up a pen and I tried to put something on the calendar, and nothing happened. I grabbed a blank piece of paper and I checked to make sure the pen was working. The pen was working just fine. So, once again, I tried to put something on the calendar, and again, and again and again, but there was nothing, just days, and weeks, and months all blacked out. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a big new eraser. I haven’t seen an actual eraser for years. But there it was a big pink eraser with sharp new edges. I picked it up and set about rubbing as hard as I could, trying desperately to erase the blackness from the calendar. But as hard and as fast as I rubbed, the blackness simply wouldn’t budge.
My arm became weary, and my grip on the eraser began to weaken, I was barely rubbing at all, when suddenly, the blackness began to fade to grey. So, I rubbed a little more gently, and as I rubbed flowers began to emerge, then birds, butterflies, green grass, daffodils, until one by one each square upon the calendar, gave way to a vision of Creation in which vivid colours emerged into visions of such beauty which leapt off the calendar and danced around the room. When I awoke, I felt a lightness in my being, before I began to remember the details of my dream. Lingering over a strong cup of coffee, I pondered the contours of this dream as I moved beyond the dream into a vision.
“Abba, the hour has come! Glorify your Only Begotten that I may glorify you, through the authority you’ve given me over all humankind, by bestowing eternal life on all those you gave me. And this is eternal life: to know you, the only true God, and the one you have sent, Jesus, the Messiah.”….“and this is eternal life: to know you, the only true God.”
For years, I thought of eternal life as a quantity of time and I confused eternal with everlasting. It is only in the past decade or so that I have understood the real meaning of eternal, is limitless. Limitless, by definition, cannot be time-bound. Limitless has no beginning and no end. Limitless is larger than we can imagine and smaller than we can imagine. Limitless is farther than we can see and smaller than we can see. Limitless is not a quantitative it is qualitative. So, if eternal life is not about life everlasting, then what exactly might the gift of eternal life be? One of the qualities of the eternal which I have come to understand is the limitlessness of grace, which comes to us as an integral part of life. The gift of breath itself is pure grace. Fourteen billion years of evolution have resulted in the cosmos producing human life. Our very being is a miracle of grace and each and every breath we breathe is pure gift. We are living breathing, walking, talking, loving, miracles. The breath which flows through us, enlivens us, and empowers us, this breath is the SPIRIT of ALL LIFE, that emanates from the ONE who is the source of our being.
The eternal quality of our life, of all our lives is knowing; knowing. To know, is to experience deeply. The ancients understood this as the essence of what it means to be human; to know. The anonymous gospel-storyteller which we call John, puts into the mouth of Jesus words that I am only beginning to know, to experience deeply. Jesus said, “And this is eternal life: to know you, the only true God.” The words translated from the Greek as “to know” are the same words used in the scriptures to describe the intimacy of lovemaking. This is eternal life, to know, to make love to God, the DIVINE MYSTERY who is LOVE ITSELF.
Eternal life is a quality of living that shares a deep intimacy with the ONE who is the SOURCE of our being. Knowing the presence of the I AM the ONE who IS wakes us from our distractions. Knowing the I AM, is a daunting way to BE. The renowned interpreter of myths and dreams, Joseph Campbell warns that, “We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” I realize, that despite the reality that the life I’d planned for myself, back then, before this lockdown began, that life is gone, not postponed, it is gone. There is a new life waiting for us here, now, in this place where we find ourselves. All around us, the sheer magnitude of Creation’s beauty has the power to awaken us to the intimacy and wonder of the lovemaking in which the SOURCE-of-ALL that IS, continues to engage with Creation. If we let go of the life we planned, the life which is bursting forth all around us, has the power to draw us into life eternal, now.
The eternal quality of living draws us into this intimacy, in ways that can inspire such joy. But this eternal quality of living can also draw us into a LOVE which pierces our hearts. As the news of ever-increasing death tolls pierce our consciousness, we begin to envision new ways of being in the world. When I recall all the various plans which once drove me from day to day, I realize that this isolation has provided a much needed sabbath. It may not be a sabbath of rest, but it is a sabbath of return; a kind of retreat from what was into a place of what is, from which we can begin to dream of what might be. There are things we need to pay attention to in this sabbath of retreat. What are we being called to notice, to learn, to imagine, to prepare, to dream as what was gives way to what might be?
Lingering over my morning coffee, I looked out as rain fell gently upon the grass. Never before has the grass been so green. Beyond the colours, I see an image of the ONE who IS the Source and Ground of Being weeping like a prodigal parent tormented by wayward children who have lost their way. Eternal life is not all sweetness and light. Limitless LOVE demands a kind of attention which opens us to the pain of all those with whom we share this precious gift of life. LOVEmaking is a kind of knowing which can break our hearts just as surely as it can cause our hearts to race with a passion for intimacy. To know the Sacred, the Divine ONE is to see our CREATOR weep, to feel the pain of illness, violence, oppression, greed, destruction, and death. The temptation is to look away, to protect our fragile hearts, and fill our days with distractions, to flee from eternal life, from this knowing which brings such intensity. Tears, like rainfall of torrential proportions, are falling all around us. This gift of eternal life, this knowing, this lovemaking, is intense. Such deep intimacy with the ONE who is the SOURCE-of-ALL-BEING is not for the faint of heart. But this intimacy, this Eternal life, makes the flowers smell so very sweet, and the birdsong sound so sublime.
YAHWEH. Our CREATOR, the GREAT I AM WHO AM. I AM here, now in this sabbath of retreat: rejoicing, weeping, longing, singing, dancing, grieving, shouting, playing, living, breathing, waiting, touching, dying, rising, laughing, crying, feeding, loving, in, with, through, and beyond you. I AM here!
To approach intimacy with the ONE WHO IS, WAS, and Ever More Shall BE, LOVE, is life eternal. To make LOVE with the SACRED, the DIVINE, the HOLY ONE, is life eternal. Life without limits. Light beyond Light. Light which penetrates our distractions. A light which shines on the beauty and the pain of life, all life, with an intimacy which opens us to a way of being which is eternal.
I AM here. YAHWEH. I AM WHO AM. May you know, may you experience deeply, the power and the intimacy of eternal life, here and now, now and always, as you awaken to the ONE, who IS LOVE, awaken to what is, so that you may dream of what might be, in this ONE beautiful life in which we live and move and have our being, in, with, through, and beyond, our LOVER, BELOVED, and LOVE ITSELF. Amen.
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